THE APU TIMES

Every time I enter APU cafeteria, I get baffled and ask the same question, “what should I eat today?” I know it is a silly question. I know what I like (and what I do not like), and APU cafeteria does not have that large a menu for me to get lost. Still, I remain undecided at least for a few minutes. Carrying a tray, I look here and there, sneakily, as if it is the first time I am hanging out in cafeteria. Nevertheless, I see many other undecided faces roaming, so I might not be alone to face this riddle.

Why am I confused in cafeteria? I know what I like, or do I really know what I like? Is it just my illusion that I feel I know what I like? Or is it that I am simply reluctant to make a fool of myself who do not even know what he likes, so that I pretend to know what I like? I am not sure, but I cannot claim that any of these are totally baseless for sure. One of the reasons why I am puzzled is I don’t know quite a lot of foods and I am reluctant to try new ones. Once I tried an egg thinking it was boiled (eggs not boiled are not sold in cafeteria in my country) just to be surprised that it was not boiled. Luckily, the egg did not spill on my pants. That makes me more reluctant to test new foods. What if they are something I don’t totally like at all? I don’t like wasting food and not even money, so I try to play safe. However, the same food every day is again boring. Hence, I stand still there for some time to decide if I should „risk‟ trying a new food or eat the regular one.

Other possibility is my confusion over “beef and pork”. Religiously, I cannot eat those, because we (Hindus) worship cows as god. However, I am not that religious as well. Sometimes I feel that if I can eat mutton, then why discard beef. Meat is after all „meat‟, no matter what. Ironically, when I start eating beef, I experience something bad from inside. I cannot enjoy beef or pork as I enjoy mutton. Probably, the religious beliefs and culture in which I have been raised for twenty years is not easy to thrust aside. My mind says one thing, but the heart rejects. So, I stay there again with mind and heart debating whether I should try beef, and usually the heart wins. Don’t  know  if  somebody  back  in  my  country  asks  how nattou tastes.

 A third reason, which I am reluctant to admit, could be me searching my menu in other’s tray. Sometimes, I would like to know what a few others are enjoying so that I could feel a bit secured about the food. Nobody has eaten a particular food may mean that the food is not that delicious. I don’t want myself staring at what others have in their plates but that is what I do secretively, at least sometimes. So, in that state of „confusion‟, I might actually be doing research on likely foods.

 Wow and Uff. So I eat so much brain of myself with every meal at cafeteria! Seriously, I don’t know if I have problems, but certainly, I have choices, choices of cultures, and food type. Nevertheless, I have made a resolution this time. I will go for foods I have not tried so far, for I want to know  how  each  food  tastes,  even  if  I may  not  like. Obviously, I don’t want to disappoint myself with “I don’t know” if somebody back in my country asks how nattou tastes.

(Santosh  Sharma Poudel APS ’12)